Of Love and Marriage - Part 2
by John Bisagno
| Title: | Of Love and Marriage - Part 2 |
|---|---|
| Bible Book: | Ephesians 5 : 21 |
| Author: | John Bisagno |
| Subject: | Marriage |
| Series: | Of Love and Marriage |
| Objective: | This is the second sermon in a series of 2 messages by Dr. Bisagno. |
| File: |
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Introduction
Our Lord tells men how to relate to their wives. Love is always an action word. Here is a way to act and treat her. Do it in the same way that Jesus did the church. Jesus talked to the church. The heart of marriage is communication. Everything in marriage is to move toward oneness. The completion of we need and lack in the completion and fulfillment of the other person. We become stronger and better and whole only as we are complimented and completed by the other person. Of all the communications abilities that make the mine, body, heart, soul the spirit of two to become one so that can occur. Nothing is as common a thread that runs through every experience and every relationship every like verbal communication.
I. Jesus Talked To The Church - Husbands Should Talk To Their Wives
A. Really Listen
Some Don'ts:
1.) Don't cut them off in the middle of a sentence thinking you know where they are going.
2.) Don not just hear in such a manner that you are pretending to hear. But in fact you are thinking about how you are going to respond. The body language communicates that.
Some Do's:
1.) Stop you what you are doing when your spouse talks to you.
2.) Look at them. Be quiet and concentrate on what they are saying. Look beyond what they are speaking to what they are really saying. Listen for timing. Watch for body language. Look for the spirit.
B. Respond In Love
Never in anger and never in shock. When somebody is telling you something that is unpleasant, hard, and corrective. You sit there and nod your head. Nodding your head does not say; I agree, it says I understand. They will never care what you think until you think that you care. If you really care enough to listen. Understand their heart.
Ask for their opinion. Discuss and make decisions together.
Learn their love language. Gary Smiley says there are 5 ways to receive expressions of love:
1) Time. To some money and physical expressions of affection are not as important. Just the fact that you cared to spend time with them.
2.) Touch. Affection, kissing, and touching and holding.
3.) Gifts. The greatest expression to some men and women is that you cared enough to shop, create or buy something and give them.
4.) Words. Saying nice things. Complementary things. Loving things.
5.) Service. Doing things. Identify your spouses love language and know the way they best communicate and express love is the way they most responsively receive your love in return.
Seek to understand more than to be understood. Learn their love language.
II. Jesus Served The Church - Husbands Should Serve Their Wives
Jesus served the church. Submission is pouring out yourself to bless and honor the other by pleasing them and serving them through anticipating every need and median. Simply consider them above you. To consider them as the exalted one. It occurs both ways. It is submitting our desires and our preferences to the pleasure and joy and honor and blessing to the other.
Christian economics is like nothing else. You give in order to keep. You lose to find. You die to live again. There is always Calvary before there is Easter. When you pour your life out for the other. Then they will say what can I do for you? The mutual giving and not demanding is what marriage is all about.
III. Jesus Accepted The Church - Husbands Should Accept Their Wives
Jesus accepted the church. Jesus accepts the fact that His bride, the church, is less than perfect. But He sets out his life as the purpose of marriage to make her more pure, to sanctify her. The purpose of Christian marriage as defined here is not to please me, it is to cleanse and make perfect and holy and more righteous you. Husband love your wife like Christ did the church. He died for her in order that he might make her holy. Cleanse her by the washing with water through the word of God. To present her to Himself a radiant shirt that she might be without stain, or winkle or blemish. But be holy and blameless. Jesus died to make his wife these things. It is obvious that she is not holy, blameless, without wrinkle, spot or blemish.
What does the wise husband do? There is not a word or commendation. He sets out to help by encouraging our spouse. By praying together. By seeing to it that prayer is done in the home and personal Bible study. That she is not ever asked to be involved in anything immoral. You begin by accepting her where she is. And understand that God gave you, the husband, the spiritual leader in the home to help sanctify and make holy and beautiful on the inside.
